BJ’s for $19.99, what’s the catch?

In an exciting conclusion to the previous post, May 21, 2011 came and went with no rapture, and the brilliant idea of a Jesus dog toy just seemed blasphemous.

Where were you when the world ended?

Apocalypse preparation from a Forward Thinker

I remember scoffing at Harold Camping of Family Christian Radio’s prediction of the rapture on May 21, 2011 at precisely 6:00 pm Eastern Standard Time. Not because I don’t believe in Christ – I do – and as a Christian I know that “… of that day and hour no one knows…” (Matthew 24:36).

As the “prophesy” picked up momentum, and the story was discussed by more and more people, I began to worry. As any sane person would do I devised a plan, not for me, but for my beagle puppy. I purchased a Saint Francis of Assisi medal to adorn my dog’s collar. Fearing that would not be enough, I also purchased a Jesus dog toy. As a young puppy gets excited and ultimately “loves” his toys and stuffed animals. I had hoped that this would allow Hudson to love Jesus in the only way possible to him, and in the event of the rapture, Hudson would ultimately ascend to Heaven during the rapture.

And you thought I was crazy.

Man California, how ‘bout you tone down the gayness…

I am surpirsed google doesn’t auto suggest. This isn’t the first time I have searched this.

The following is an inter-office chain email, which I initiated, and no one responded to. Please reference the linked article, about a woman who was forced to purchase two arline tickets due to her size.

robert 

I flew next to a large man once. By the time we landed, I thought we were lovers. This guy was literally on me. He squeezed beyond the armrests.
People need to be responsible for their choices. You want to eat too much, fine. Many people drink to much. But be responsible and pay extra if you have to, rather than ruin someone elses time in the air.

My commentary: Oh man. these comments. America may be colorblind, but it is still fatist.

Gerald 

If you buy 2 dinners every night, you can buy 2 seats on the airplane.

Unless you’re Shaquille O’Neal, or an offensive lineman, you should feel humiliated walking around weighing 300 pounds whether some ticket agent asks your weight and size or not. It’s not like the people in line behind you thought you were a size 8 until you were forced to spill the beans.

More of my hilarious commentary: Fat Tom? Should be Uncle Fat Tom. He is a traitor to the fat race.

Fat Tom

I’ve dealt with obesity my entire life. Southwest is my airline of choice BECAUSE they suggest buying an extra seat. Then, they REFUND the extra ticket if the flight is not full. I don’t want to squeeze my fat butt into a small seat. Besides, it’s not fair to the thinner person who might site next to me. Let’s be realistic, I’m too fat. Southwest makes reasonable accomodations and should not be criticized for it.

My final commentary: Okay, I understand I ham having this –hilarious- converstation and email thread by myself. So I will stop.

Hope you enjoyed this tumber, unlike my unappreciative coworkers.

Pious Catholic #1: I know it is Good Friday, but I accidentally just ate Mexican Food.

Pious Catholic #2: I know I accidentally just made nachos.

*According to Catholic Social Doctrine, in observance of the Lenten season Catholics between the ages of 18 and 59 are obliged to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Fasting is more than a means of developing self-control. It is often an aid to prayer, as the pangs of hunger remind us of our hunger for God.

Yet, another celebrity doppelganger. Damn my poparazzi.

The other day, a kind old man began talking to me. “Has anyone ever told you that you resemble…”

Before he could even finish, I cut him off. “I know, that Gallaghan guy from Gremlins 2. I get that all the time when I am in Little Ethopia.”

“Galaga-who? No, no, no. You look just like Tony Curtis.”

In case you were wondering, Tony Curtis, born June 3, 1925  and died September 29, 2010, was an American film actor whose career spanned six decades, but had his greatest popularity during the 1950s and early 1960s. He acted in over 100 films in roles covering a wide range of genres, from light comedy to serious drama. In his later years, Curtis made numerous television appearances.

I only know that from googling him. After google imaging him, I came up with the above search results. During the encounter, I was riding a Jazzi-Scooter™ (with and American flag sticker) and wearing a blue Under Armor sweatsuit™, I am assuming the old man thought I resembled the older dignified Tony Curtis.